As I overeat, overindulge, over consume
I lose my acute sense of goodness and grace
I destroy my God-gifted sense of taste for all things living
I mute and dumb my discernment
I stifle my engine
I turn my eyes inward and lose perspective with a quickly redrafted reality that keeps me at the center
Committing self-harm
And rendering me a nuisance to original intention
Shame and deception so great I cannot see
Defined anything I take for myself beyond my need
I couldn’t possibly create a list as my true needs are so minute
How can I imagine righteousness or living by faith when my independent self-sufficient responsible existence precludes its very source
Work unto men as if unto God
I live work unto me as if I were God
And I am unworthy of the glory I self-ascribe
I am not concerned with much beyond pleasure now, even poor pleasures – I care not to care
The lies I hear I embody, this is my testimony
The other evidence is dim in comparison
But I hear and feel the calling
It is clear as you are clear
I feel not condemned though I myself am nauseated with shame
Not yet relentless, it is still my option
The rich love that extends ‘Come’ to a disobedient free will
I know this time you will persist
For I also know the reason
Mostly I do not wish to empty and I am fearful of the filling
Now the faint desire comes to know you again within
And I accept the quaking to come
I cannot contain you, yet you do not destroy me
Lord, you yourself restitch the pieces
Can I say in belief I trust you, perhaps this moment
Gird the rest
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