Snapshot Jamaica: From this Girl's Lens

(Ocho Rios to Falmouth to Montego Bay & the roads in-between)

Black for the people.  Green for the land.  Gold for the sun.  Rasta Red for the blood of the people.  Both welcoming and potentially extortionate to the foreigner.  We went from a low-level all inclusive resort to a mosquito net and picked up a few notables along the way.
Respect mon.

 

·         Ya Mon is really used as much as you stereotypically might think… it’s out of control.

·         Summer is Jamaica’s off-season, so if you want to dodge tourists, go then.

·         Everyone has a nickname and everybody knows everything.  The island has a two point something million population, so with the exception of Kingston with almost one million, if you’re outside of the capital – there are almost no secrets.

·         Good luck understanding Patois, but everyone knows English.  Don't be surprised, you will be talked about.

·         The metric system is alive and well.  The speed limit signs are in kilometers, and you will fill up a car in liters.  Again thanks to the British, you'll drive on the left-hand side of the road which puts the steering wheel, you got it, on the right.  And counties are parishes.

·         This is the island of jerk chicken, so if you love spicy BBQ, you’re in luck.  Curries are here too, who knew?  And they know how to cook a mean banana or plantain (or other fruits) into many a fish dish.  My opinion: fish dishes with fruit are better than fish dishes without fruit in Jamaica.

·         Don’t be surprised, a ‘Made in Jamaica’ tag is hard to come by.  However, sugar to molasses to rum is island authentic.  Rum lovers should not be disappointed.  Welcome home.

·         Don’t expect to easily find diet drinks (unless of course you’re hanging out where only tourists go).  “Those are for women in other countries who don’t appreciate a good fat ass!”  Excuse me, I like their taste.  I was in the minority.

·         I hope secondhand pot inhalation is not too damaging to a newborn in the making… it was tricky navigating some of the air currents.  Will it be legalized here I asked.  The general answer, no, that would be too much drain for the American economy of course.  However, nobody in Jamaica seems to get busted for it.

·         I was not offered drugs (other than secondhand).  That however, was not true for my spouse, which seems to generally be the case wherever we travel.

·         I was called ‘my lady’ ‘princess’ or ‘boss’ for our ten days there.  BTW that last one was not a commentary on me personally, just white women in general, in case you were wondering.  Elijah got ‘mon’ or an occasional ‘captain’ (cruise ship culture).

·         The Jamaican dollar is about at a hundred to one USD – do not exchange at the airport – they will lie to you about their good deals.  Everyone accepts USD.  Bring over $100 or more in ones and fives for tips.  You will be expected to tip and you should.

·         Minimum wage is calculated more by week than by hour, though it was designed for a 40-hour work week.  It is fifty USD.  Abuse of the system without good checks and balances certainly occurs.  The educated workers generally have unions, but that’s not everybody.  Can they live on that minimum wage?... can US citizens live on ours?

·         Book taxi services like a tourist and get screwed.  Book like a local and Elijah and I paid $1 each for an approximately 8 mile trip.  Now be forewarned, the taxi holds 4 passengers (or more, suck in) and the taxi doesn’t go anywhere until it’s full.

·         This should go without saying, however we wish someone had said it to us.  When pulling cash from a local ATM whose currency is also in DOLLARS and who use the $ sign, make sure to enter the desired local currency amount.  If, for instance, you enter $200, you will just have been charged by your bank in the states $5 to pull out $2.  Though it may be difficult to type in $20000 for the withdrawal amount, do it the first time.

·         Don’t like to barter?  You better beat that bad boy before you land on Jamaican sand.  When I was told the necklace in my hand was 25 USD, Elijah can testify, I almost sprayed the gulp of water in my mouth on her display table before I laughed.  She took $5 and rightly so.  Again, cruise ship culture.

·         Even though statistically Jamaicans are predominantly Christian, there is no perceivable Jesus culture, and perhaps for better, the big guy is not overtly marketable.  We were told by a non-church goer, I presume, that only the women go to church, the men go to the bar.  In the tiny town we stayed in for the second leg of our Jamaica experience we were to be there over a Sunday, so I asked the owner if there were any churches in town.  He told me he had built his business in that location precisely because there were no churches in town.  No churches meant no sinners and he had an open bar!

·         However, Jamaica has 7 national heroes and 3 of them are Baptists.  Paul Bogle.  George William Gordon.  Samuel Sharpe.  And we saw the William Knibb Memorial Baptist Church where the shackles of slavery were famously buried in a coffin at a powerful funeral service.  Elijah wouldn’t dream of missing spots like this on a vacation.  Yes, we also saw the beach.  I insisted ;)

 

So if you've got a little cash to blow and want to do it in the Caribbean, they will tell you in a heartbeat, Jamaica No Problem.