Gluttonous Living

As I overeat, overindulge, over consume
I lose my acute sense of goodness and grace
I destroy my God-gifted sense of taste for all things living
I mute and dumb my discernment
I stifle my engine
I turn my eyes inward and lose perspective with a quickly redrafted reality that keeps me at the center
Committing self-harm
And rendering me a nuisance to original intention
Shame and deception so great I cannot see

Defined anything I take for myself beyond my need
I couldn’t possibly create a list as my true needs are so minute

How can I imagine righteousness or living by faith when my independent self-sufficient responsible existence precludes its very source

Work unto men as if unto God
I live work unto me as if I were God
And I am unworthy of the glory I self-ascribe
I am not concerned with much beyond pleasure now, even poor pleasures – I care not to care

The lies I hear I embody, this is my testimony
The other evidence is dim in comparison

But I hear and feel the calling
It is clear as you are clear
I feel not condemned though I myself am nauseated with shame

Not yet relentless, it is still my option
The rich love that extends ‘Come’ to a disobedient free will
I know this time you will persist
For I also know the reason

Mostly I do not wish to empty and I am fearful of the filling
Now the faint desire comes to know you again within
And I accept the quaking to come
I cannot contain you, yet you do not destroy me
Lord, you yourself restitch the pieces
Can I say in belief I trust you, perhaps this moment
Gird the rest

Kids Bibles

It wasn’t until I was walking by a classroom of fully grown men in kindergarten as students last week that I began to comprehend the profound need around us.

Today we received a shipment of 800 kids Bibles at the church to give away at our Easter Egg Hunt this weekend. They are actually NT storybooks geared for ages 4-7.

The Lord paired these two occurrences together for me and only then did I realize that again his plans are not my plans and his ways are not my ways. Profound messages that are accessible in this small colorful illustrated book with big bold words in front of me, may have been utterly inaccessible to my adult neighbor if I’d put a NIV Study Bible in his or her hand instead.

Oh to be blown by the free spirit of God and find yourself in the right direction.

Fight Fear

Disabled by design
Whispers translate ‘you are fearful, you are mine’

Fight back, Fight now,
Fight fierce, Don’t bow

Precious gifts are smothered
Who am I, send another

What if, how can,
Please no, not again

Our plumb line is lost
We’ve bought the façade
Don’t think the fooling of yourself
Will ultimately stand the test

Fight back, Fight now,
Fight fierce, Don’t bow

Where is my angst, where is my awe
This disquietude is a holy call

Be afraid while fearing not
Choose your master, Choose your lot

Gregory

Strength of intellect
Fledgling resolve
A contorted course
Leads to God
Unshackled love
In a shackled place
Drawing new sketches
Transfused by grace
Time is his agent
Womb to grave
Happy Birthday my brother
No more a slave

Consumption

So without
Pushing the boundaries within
Begging for filling
While taking my fill again
Where is your blessing
Then clearly my answer comes
Your consumption is rampant
While tailor made for one

Fast unto me
Rid yourself of waste
You long for my glory
But feast among disgrace

Loving to loathe and loathing to love
Blundering blindly asking not of

Wedded Parables... The Prodigal Branch

(In my opinion John 15:1-17 provides the theological framework behind the Luke 15:11-32 story)

What if the younger son (in part) had it right?
Perhaps he rightly understood that the inheritance was for now.
But to remove the inheritance from the Father was like removing a tree limb that is laden with fruit from the tree.
The immediate fruit remained, but now was mortal,
not to replenish unless the limb was regrafted into the source that supplies the continuance of growth.
How often we are the older son missing the abundancy of living that was always the intention.

Our Father will not die; our inheritance is also for now.

'My {child}... everything I have is yours.'

John Donne, Divine Meditation 19

Oh, to vex me,
contraries meet in one:
Inconstancy
unnaturally hath begot
A constant habit;
that when I would not
I change in vows,
and in devotion.
As humorous is my contrition
As my profane love,
and as soon forgot:
As riddlingly distempered,
cold and hot,
As praying, as mute;
as infinite, as none.


I durst not view heaven yestereday; and today
In prayers, and flattering speeches I court God:
Tomorrow I quake with true fear of his rod.
So my devout fits come and go away
Like a fantastic ague: save that here
Those are my best days, when I shake with fear.